Where to start.... "Four score, and seven years..." Okay, okay...jeez. First, you'll need background info. I go to my "Home School" from 8 am to 12 pm, and then attend a second school (the second school does not operate within any district, however, is accredited, and known as an innovative and hands on school world-wide. It is a high school. Center for Advanced Research and Technology. I partake in the lab known as 'Biomedical Engineering'.) All students attend "home schools" within either the cities of Fresno or Clovis (the two cities are, for all purposes of this question, one city.)

Start: August 28th 2009, Location - School CART.

I will refer to myself as I and I only. I will refer to my best friend as 'John' (without the apostrophes). I will refer to the female in discussion as 'Jane' (without the apostrophes).

My third day at the school. The last two days, I have been sitting near the middle of the laboratory (a classroom designed also as a lab). Today, other students occupy the table John and I had previously sat at. We choose a seat in the back left of the class near the vent fumes, where another girl (call her w/e), is already seated. We ask if we may take accommodation at the table. We are received without quarrel. Next, Jane sits across from me. Each table is a rectangle, approximately 1.7 times longer than it is wide. Four seats are placed at each table.

I have much to talk about with John (a bunch of crud of what else I did over the summer). He also has much to discuss. We begin discussing TV shows. John tells me of having watched all of Stargate Atlantis. I say I have watched all of Stargate SG-1. The girl not named asks us what we speak of. We say, inflatable spiders, spaceships, the kind of geeky, unimportant, uninteresting, and nerdy things we Scifi Geeks talk about. Jane smiles and chuckles silently to herself.

I continue to converse with John, and noticing that Jane looks up very, very often, I signal John to discontinue conversation, and I say to Jane (of course, I did not yet know her name), "Sorry we're bothering you with really dumb conversations about spaceships and aliens, if you want, we can be quite." She replied very lightheartedly, "No, please, you don't bother me. Continue." John then says to me, "See? I told you she wasn't bothered." I nod.

March 8 2010 - School CART.

Enough of the drone-like typing, 'eh? Well, you've come this far, so I'll try to make it more interesting from here on out.
(this is today for those you who don't keep track of time)

Alright. As of late, I've noticed increased physical contact from her. By the way, she has never been kissed, is a studyholic, and by no means, a tease. She is basically, the good girl in all regards.

When she's helping me with some chemistry, or just talking to me, she might be rubbing my arm, or my thighs (we sit in fairly close proximity). Her manner of speech, is well, Samantha Carter-like flirty, if you've ever watched Stargate. This last Saturday, while I spent the day at her house helping with a science project, we took a walk. During a part of the walk, we got into talking about my future, and I spoke of how I will probably never be married, due to the fact that I'm a bit abnormal. Well, she put her arm around my shoulders, and I put mine around her waist. We walked like this until we neared her house. During the course of this day, there were periodic moments where we seem to make excuses to touch the other person (hand to hand, hand to arm, such things).

Oh. When we're talking, we look into each others eyes for minutes, and sometimes stop talking and just look at each other. There is no awkwardness when this happens, or at any other moment actually. During these times she sometimes puts here hands on my arms, and gently rubs it.

Today, yet again, physical contact goes further. She was on her laptop, but was looking at her grade (94%), and was depressed that it was not (95%), so I took her hand (again, I did it out of instinct not really much thought), and I held it for the course of a good minute in a half, while we talked about the grade and how a (94%) is a good grade she can be proud of. A girl in our class walked by and saw us holding hands, and both of us let go and resumed talking like normal (this is not that I didn't wish to hold her hand, but to prevent her from spreading rumors that would make Jane unhappy).

Christ I don't know. Oh another thing. Her parents like me. I go shopping with Jane and her mother after school sometimes. Whenever (this means all the time), we are walking (not in school), she always bumps into me, every few seconds, as do I to her. I do it because I like her and like to have her close as possible. Laugh if you want, but after seven months of knowing her, I wouldn't call it love, but I sure as hell would say I like her legitimately and a lot.

The thing is..or, the reason I haven't just grabbed her and kissed her yet, I don't know if she wants
me to, as apparent as I think it seems. There is one final piece to the story. I asked her to go on a date of sorts in October. She said she would like to, but had promised herself when she was in middle school, that she would not date until out of university to prevent from distracting herself. I really don't know whether to believe this, but, seeing as she has a 4.2 GPA and never been kissed, well, I guess I kinda' want to believe so I don't feel rejected again.
My last question. As I said, she said she didn't want to date. But lately, she's making it really hard for me not to hold her hand when we are walking or to kiss her! I've only kissed one other girl before, so I am no professional, but I'm oh-so-tempted. Does she want me to hold her hand? Should I kiss her? If so, is she looking for a long-term relationship, looking to explore sexual desires, or does she just want to experience high school emotions, and I happen to be the guy she feels the best for the job? I don't know...I'm going insane.

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